nefarious,

i heard no complaining, and just wanted to share some information. i'm not a cold shower fan myself, and we try to prepare for changing the gas quickly when it's gonna happen, and it's sometimes difficult to project exactly when that may be. sometimes it takes a few minutes for the switch and relighting. there's no better place to shower, than in those woods.

(:-}) ~edited to add that <------ is my version of a smiley face with a moustache.

1 – This dry hacking cough I have had for several days will not delay my surgery Period. There I said it and I am certain the universe will comply.

2 – I for one had lovely warm showers every time at fest. Some might say I did not shower often enough, but the whole exhaustion, pain, knee thing made sleeping the better option. I did shower, just not as frequently as I love to do at fest.

3 – Imagine my extreme surprise when I checked into a motel on the way home to find a Jacuzzi tub in my bathroom. I spent a couple of blissful hours soaking and bubbling away.

4 – To remind myself of my role at fest this year I called every rider and potential rider (FYI – I was part of the shuttle crew and part of a team of drivers for Demming the bus) “Ma’am”, as in “yes Ma’am”, “no Ma’am” and “have a great fest Ma’am”. Worked for me and most womyn seemed happy with it. Did not hear or think about the customer issue until later after fest.

5 – For me I find living in gratitude helps. I work on getting rid of any sense of entitlement for myself; I find I am happier that way. I am not recommending this way of thinking for anyone else. I know I am happier in the moment, rather than dwelling on my past or anxious about my future. I am not always good at doing this, but when I can I know I am better off.

6 - LD you took some amazing pics this year, thank you so much for sharing them. And I join the army of womyn that is grateful you are upright and among us today.

7– The Landy story is an excellent fodder for some creative womyn to write an illustrated children’s book. The story it self is mythical and will soon join the legends of Michfest.

8 – Wrinkles I come here specifically to see your words, your ability to articulate some complicated issues impresses the hell out of me. I seldom find the words to get what I am thinking on paper. I appreciate that you can so eloquently.

9– I am a bad wine drinker Kip; it appears I have no taste at all. As I am given wine I put it up in wine rack on my wall. When the rack gets filled it is time to have a party and give the wine to womyn that better appreciate it than I. The wine rack is full, just in time for a party to recruit more womyn back to fest. I will be drinking beer, I am such a plebe.

10 – Okay time to get my hinny out of bed. I have to find something to wear in the hospital for PJs. Since I do not wear anything to bed and I have been told I will have to wear a gown otherwise. So nice soft t-shirts have been set aside, now to find bottoms, they have to be shorts since the PTs need to see my knees when I am up and around. I thinking sleeping in my cargo shorts will not be all that comfy. Wish Nef was here, for a lot of reasons, but she would be giving great PJ advice.

11- That and a couple of family birthdays to celebrate today, including my youngest. OMG, my youngest is 25 this week!! Anyway I am bringing the chicken and ribs. First gathering at the Folks place since Dad passed, that is going to be odd, but he will be on everyone’s mind.

12 – Off to find some caffeine and the ubiquitous pain pills, oh that marijuana were legal here; the whole day would be fine, just fine.

13 – Did you see the dragonflies? I always think of you when I see the dragonflies.

1. First mistake: looking at the countdown number. :(((((

2. Second mistake: going to this site during a class in a computer lab. So now I can't cry about it like I want to, lol.

3. But, since this is my first post since fest, let's not focus on the negative.

4. It was wonderful to meet all of you at the Bb meet-up! (all of you that were there, that is. I still enjoy all of your company, whether or not I have a face to associate with your name or not.)

5. This was a really interesting fest for me (as opposed to the one other year I've gone lolol.) I didn't go to a single workshop, I missed three different dinners (burrito night AND indian curry), and as far as concerts I only went to Leslie and the Ly's and Opening/Closing Ceremonies.

6. But it was wonderful! :) I spent lots of time with my sisters and in self-reflection. The goal of this fest: sexual self-acceptance. I found myself really pressuring myself to hook up with womyn and then was feeling constantly anxious and like a constant failure.

7. Then I thought about me, and my desires. Weird, huh? I realized that I just really value intense, intimate interpersonal relationships, and that's not what you often get with hook-up situations. So once I processed through that I felt a lot better about just relaxing and meeting women in whatever context it happened.

8. I also had a negative experience with a womon who got overly aggressive towards me when I did not reciprocate her interest. In the end she came and found me at the Zone firepit and wanted to talk to me and when I tried to tell her I wasn't interested she grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me away from everyone to talk to me. Needless to say, I felt very uncomfortable and slightly attacked. I was not completely coherent, so to speak, and so I was trying to relay to her my lack of sexual interest in a loving, sisterly way, and she got very angry and aggressive. She got angry with me that I was participating in Sugar's Singles/Availables Dating Service and told her that I wasn't in a sexual place. In the end, I didn't wear my number the rest of the week.

9. But, other than that, it was a wonderful fest.

10. Now, I'm back in class and loving most of my classes (except the one I'm in now...it's a real snoozer.) Real world sucks, but I'm trying to carry the Land and my pro-sisterly love in my heart everywhere I go.

11. Love you all! <3 Ah, what the hell...only 334 dayssss!!!! :D (It's really not that long, in the end...)

1. What a Fest! It was my first time going as a worker, and it was an incredible experience. So different from being a Festie or a CCE. This was my 5th Fest.

2. I am now trying to connect BB names with Fest names/faces.

3. Figured out Kip, as I passed Landy on to her. :)

4. I think Landy really helped me with re-entry - seeing other Festies and connecting with them about getting Landy home was huge for me.

5. Lots of things are up in the air lately - I'm thinking about changing jobs, making other changes in my life (ie going back to school), and not sure what to do with those thoughts. Just letting them simmer in my head for now.

6. Thank you to each and every one of you who came to Fest and contributed in your own special ways.

7. Thank you especially to those of you who smiled, said hello, hugged me, approached me, introduced yourself, etc. even though you knew I was deaf and communication might be difficult. That loving patience really made a difference for me, and made my Fest a great one.

8. Can't wait to see my grrl again. This long distance thing is rough (opposite coasts.) We celebrated our anniversary on the Land. :) Thankful to my crew (recycling/sano) for allowing me to take my half day off that day. :)

9. BB, so glad you are okay. Much love to you.

10. Red, woo, love, and light to you for your surgery.

11. I really fucking miss all of you.

<3 to all those who were looking over us. I felt your spirits this year.

Di

Ah sisters. I was chickensitting this weekend. It was great.

I drove my friend's car into town for groceries and dog food (I was dogsitting too!). I haven't been to my childhood town in at least 6 months. Things change so quickly lol.

ANYWAY. A long time ago there was a farm commune in my hometown...like in the 1920s or before it was founded. It's waaaay out in the country, and at least a mile from the road, and has a circle of cute old houses facing a center meadow. There is also a community building, and at one time a pool. It's surrounded by woods, which are surrounded by farm fields. Basically it's the perfect place for a lesbian commune (and only 15 min from Ann Arbor and 40min or so from Detroit).

Soooo I drove around to go look at it on Saturday, and I found that the rumors are true: they have bought up the land and turned it into a subdivision. :( The old houses are still there but look abandoned and like they will come down soon to allow for subdivision expansion. The community building has been torn down. Instead of woods and fields there are new build houses. I was very sad.

Derail:

OK. I need some mutual woo. This kind of woo is the kind where you send me woo, and I send it right back, all day strong, all day long. This action doubles it's power, helps both of us out, and makes us stronger too.

Also, I said this yesterday, but I have to say it again... I FUCKING hate cancer. I really, really, really hate it with a passion. I found out yesterday, on the 20th anniversary of my uncle's passing (he was also my godfather and my guardian) from cancer, that three of the biggest role models in my life, all three mother figures for me, have cancer.

One is my aunt - my Mom's baby sister - she had surgery while I was on the Land to remove a mass from her kidney. They thought it was benign, and when I found out the news just before the community meeting, I was SO relieved. S...he went to the doctor yesterday, and found out the mass is actually kidney cancer. I lived with this woman during my teen years, when my Mom was sick with cancer, my aunt raised me on/off from 12-17. She is my second mother. Her father died of kidney cancer.

The next is my Mom's BFF, who has been there for me my whole life. She was my babysitter when I was little, my Sunday School teacher, loved me anyway when I came out, she learned sign language to communicate with me before my own brothers and sisters did, she was there for my graduation, my brother bought her house, she lives next door to my family, etc. She survived breast cancer a few years ago, and just now found out she has end-stage lung cancer (she is a non smoker, the breast cancer spread.) It is all over her lungs, and other organs. She can't even breathe. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday, she is on a machine to help her breathe, and they are giving her all the pain meds she wants. She only has a few weeks left to live.

The third is my Dad's lifelong best friend, her cancer came back. She and her husband have helped me out in so many ways over the years, from giving me their old lawnmower and other appliances when I bought a house, driving 4 hours to come help me move, visiting me when my town is on their way to a vacation destination, coming to see me when I'm in town visiting my parents, etc.

My mother is crumbling under the weight of all this - and she herself has had cancer four times (sarcoma, ovarian, skin, and leukemia.) Two types are still active (leukemia and skin.)

When they say it takes a village to raise a child, they are talking about me. It took a village of strong, powerful women to raise me. And now, three of the biggest figures in my life are now dealing with this fucking cancer, all at once. Actually, four, since my Mom also has it.

Please send some fucking woo. And I will send it right back, with strength, power, and love. Ok, now, may the woo-age begin!

Di

Rerail

Di, other than the general woo that I send you every day just for the hell of it, I am sending every bit of positive thoughts, good will, and all of the best vibes I possibly can in your direction. Fuck cancer. I hate it, too. Hate it, hate it!

My love to you and your family and everyone else affected by this insidious disease.

Love,
B

Lucygoose, sending woo to your mothers, all four of them. I'll keep them in my thoughts and sending special woo to you as you support them.

I could use some woo: went to the eye doctor today for some prescription sun glasses. I now have a referral to a specialist for possible glaucoma. Am making an appointment today. Here's hoping it's not serious.

i will keep each & every 1 in my daily prayers here from mo. always!

Sending woo.

sending so much woo and prayers your way...

Thank you, everyone. You rock!! Sending woo back to those who need it!!

1. I am going to meet a puppy on Saturday. He needs a forever home, and has had some bad breaks. Literally. He is healing from a broken leg, and is only 2 months old! He is adorable... If I adopt him, I will need to rename him. I am not going to have a dog named Kashmir, no matter how soft his fur is, and no matter how much he feels like cashmere!

2. Gotta fly to a GLBT conference meeting in 7 minutes. This is one of the things I love most about my job. RIT is hosting the northeast regional collegiate LGBT conference next April. We have been working/planning for over a year now... so exciting. We got Zach Wahls as our keynote speaker, so it was really awesome to see him last night on TV speaking at the DNC!

3. Michelle Obama.

4. Bill Clinton.

5. Joe Biden.

6. Barack Hussein Obama.

7. Make sure you register to vote.

8. Seriously, register NOW!

9. Hope everyone is having a good day today.

10. Much love to all who need it. xo

Di

ps, by fly I mean run like the wind, not actually fly on an airplane!